Degas and Modernity

I need that you edit the essay tha you sent me with the comments tha I write here. I also attach the essay that you sent me so you can edit it please.

This is a pretty good paper and I think that your discussion of the snapshot like nature and the casualness is really strong and should be the emphasis of the paper but unfortunately at the end of your first paragraph your thesis tells me that you’re going to compare the two paintings the oath and the dance class and talk about them in terms of an interior of a dance studio and really your thesis needs to be about how the dance class is a modern painting showing us a modern way Of looking at the world that is casual and make a snapshot. In other words you need to make the dance class the focus. I would go back to the assignment and I Would look at the thesis that I gave you and maybe just borrow it and then go through and see how you can strengthen your paper given what you say in the thesis you know talk about the snapshot talk about the mirror talk about the advertisement talk about perspective and how the David is very formal and very central and how the dance class isn’t that it’s more casual and of course then also describe what you see in the dance class a little bit more to support those points you are making.